50 – Disco Machine Gun – Lo-Fidelity Allstars (October 1997)

There’s no better way to start this list than with a single that was deleted almost immediately, so that’s what I’ve done. Disco Machine Gun borrowed bits of the Breeders’ Cannonball – only problem with that was that the Breeders weren’t too happy, so a bit of tweaking later and the song was retooled as Blisters On My Brain for the album. That’s all very well of course, but I prefer this version. Sorry, the Breeders.

49 – Lawnchairs – Our Daughter’s Wedding (August 1981)

I like songs that go bleep and bloop, and if they also go blip then that’s an added bonus. This one does all three, and how it missed the Top 40 I will never know.

48 – Infected – The The (November 1986)

At the back end of 1986, there was no end of top tunes that didn’t do anywhere near as well as they should’ve done, and yet Des O’Connor and Roger Whittaker had a Top Ten “smash” with The Skye Boat Song. Where’s the justice, I ask you? Clearly, the people putting together the Hits 5 compilation (kids, the Hits albums were a rival to Now That’s What I Call Music – I know, right? A rival!) thought this would do the business because that’s where I first heard it, and then replayed it again and again because it’s bloody brilliant.

47 – Rebel Never Gets Old – David Bowie (June 2004)

Two Bowie songs for the price of one! What are you complaining about?

46 – The Perfect Kiss – New Order (May 1985)

Vanishing Point aside, this is New Order’s finest song by a country mile, and how many music videos show the band performing the song rather than miming to it?

45 – Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins (December 1986)

Remember what I said about 1986? Well, here’s Exhibit A. This spent more weeks in the Top 75 than some No.1s but never once threatened to reach the Top 40. Why Kenny Loggins lies on his bed taking photographs of a ceiling fan is a mystery to me, but the eighties were a very strange time.

44 – Darts Of Pleasure – Franz Ferdinand (September 2003)

Hate the video, but the song… marvellous.

43 – Caught By The Fuzz – Supergrass (October 1994)

Sometimes it’s good to have a bit of noise.

42 – Why Are You Being So Reasonable Now? – Wedding Present (October 1988)

If it wasn’t for The Chart Show, this lot would’ve completely passed me by. God, that show was a goldmine.

41 – We’ll Be Together – Sting (November 1987)

Yeah, I know. Sting. The Police may have been a great singles band, but a solo singer he has an impressive strike rate of almost 100% when it comes to releasing singles I can’t stand… and yet I really like this one. Just goes to show, anybody can release a decent song when they’re having a good day.

Numbers 40-31 are this-a-way