10 – It’s Grim Up North – Justified Ancients of Mu Mu (November 1991)

I love this song so much I’ve posted the full 10 minute version rather than the severely edited 7″ edit. Am I good to you or what? Everything about this tune is wonderful and insane in equal measures.

9 – Ever Fallen In Love – Fine Young Cannibals (April 1987)

This is better than Buzzcocks’s original. Yeah, I went there. You can argue as much as you like, you won’t change my mind.

8 – Fade To Grey – Visage (February 1981)

It’s a song! It’s a work of genius! It’s a French lesson! It’s got one of the most astoundingly eighties videos ever made! It’s all these things and so much more.

7 – Living On The Ceiling – Blancmange (November 1982)

Honestly, Blancmange could’ve called it a day after this and their place in history would’ve been assured. They didn’t, so we also got Blind Vision and Don’t Tell Me, which was good of them.

6 – Daddy Cool – Boney M (February 1977)

It was a toss-up between this and Rasputin, to be honest, but this won the day thanks to its “no expense or effort spent” video.

5 – Our House – Madness (December 1982)

God, this is magnificent. To be honest, I’m not convinced Madness ever topped this, but Shut Up and Tomorrow’s (Just Another Day) don’t half come close.

4 – Drama! – Erasure (October 1989)

When they were firing on all cylinders, there were few pop bands around that could touch Erasure in terms of quality. I mean, look at this one. Just look at it. One verse, that’s it, then it’s bridges and choruses all the way down. And who’s that shouting “GUILTY”? Only the bloody Jesus and Mary Chain! You wouldn’t get that sort of clever thinking from Stock Aitken Waterman you know, and that’s probably why they’re not here and Erasure are.

3 – Lean On Me – Red Box (October 1985)

Lean On Me is brilliant and if you don’t agree, you’re wrong. Besides, how many videos do you see where the band do the lyrics in semaphore? Exactly.

2 – This Town Ain’t Big Enough For Both Of Us – Sparks (June 1974)

This song has everything – a singer who can hit notes he really doesn’t have any right to, a terrifying keyboard player, a stomper of a tune and why on earth didn’t it get to No.1? To be honest, I could’ve picked any number of Sparks songs, but I went for the highest placed because it’s the best of the lot… at least, so far. They’re still going today, and somehow the world feels like a slightly better place for having them in it.

1 – The Sun Always Shines On T.V. – a-ha (January 1986)

This is possibly the greatest pop song ever made, and the video’s also right up there. The song is five minutes long and doesn’t waste a second of it – they only had one chart-topper, but they picked the right one to get that accolade with and no mistake. As for the video, well, that starts by rounding off the story begun with Take On Me, then moves into a church filled with really rather frightening shop mannequins all over the ruddy place, a Mags attempting to stab his keyboard to death with his fingers, a Pal intent on rocking out and a Morten singing to a load of aforementioned mannequins with as much gusto as he would if they were real people. It’s as near to perfect as they were ever going to get.
And that’ll be enough, I think. Consider yourself lucky I didn’t do a Top 100, I know I do.