August 2016 – Frozen


DCCLXVI – August 2016

Running total Highest chart placing The song and who did it
8160
1
COLD WATER
Major Lazer featuring Justin Bieber and MØ
8161
5
HEATHENS
Twenty One Pilots
8162
2
LET ME LOVE YOU
DJ Snake featuring Justin Bieber
8163
1
CLOSER
Chainsmokers featuring Halsey

These days, it’s quite an achievement for a single to go straight into the chart at Number One, so it’d be nice if the song concerned sounded like it had earned that accolade. Well, Cold Water isn’t terrible, but I can’t see what’s so good about it that it went straight to the top and I certainly can’t work out how it managed to stay at the summit for five weeks. I must be missing something here.

You know what, I’m getting a bit bloody bored with all the midtempo stuff that’s wandering into the chart at the moment, but Heathens isn’t bad at all. At least it’s doing something different. As for Let Me Love You… six weeks at No.2? What with this and Cold Water, it must be Justin Bieber’s name that’s getting these songs to do as well as they are because, yeah, they’re all right, but they’re both punching far above their weight.

So. Closer. Another bloody song that refuses to move out of third gear! Like so many songs this year, it’s not bad, but that’s the problem. “Not bad” seems to be good enough this year. Somebody really needs to come from out of nowhere to chuck a grenade into the singles chart right now like Bill Haley, the Beatles, the Pistols and the Prodigy once did, because hardly anybody’s trying anything even remotely risky these days.