October 2014 – There She Goes


t2014102

DCCXLIV – October 2014

Running total Highest chart placing The song and who did it
7982
1
BANG BANG
Jessie J featuring Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj
7983
7
SUNLIGHT
Magician featuring Years and Years
7984
1
ALL ABOUT THAT BASS
Meghan Trainor
7985
1
THINKING OUT LOUD
Ed Sheeran
7986
7
GLOW
Ella Henderson
7987
5
DON’T TELL ‘EM
Jeremih featuring YG
7988
3
ANACONDA
Nicki Minaj
7989
10
GUTS OVER FEAR
Eminem fetauring Sia
7990
9
OH CECILIA (BREAKING MY HEART)
Vamps
7991
3
STEAL MY GIRL
One Direction

 

There’s a lot of squealing in Bang Bang. No, really, there’s a lot of squealing. That said, if there was a way to remove Nicki Minaj’s contribution this would actually be pretty good. It’s not that La Minaj is awful on this song, it’s just that she doesn’t fit in with everything else that’s going on.

Now then, I like Sunlight. Reminds me of a late-nineties Orbital song, but I can’t put my finger on which one, but it doesn’t matter because if I’m favourably comparing a song to something Orbital did it has to be good. All About That Bass should be an inspirational song of sorts (‘who cares what size you are?’), but it falls so far short that the only word beginning with ‘i’ that really fits is ‘irritating’.

Oh, this is a shame. Thinking Out Loud is a disappointment – Ed Sheeran’s using the sort of cliches that so far he seemed to be largely steering clear of. Clearly my opinion doesn’t mean anything to people who buy his stuff, though – this song spent fifty-four successive weeks inside the Top 40 from July 2014 to July 2015. There’s generous, and then there’s just plain ridiculous! As if to emphasise how ridiculous it is, Glow is roughly 792 times better than Thinking Out Loud, and yet despite its obvious quality it got its arse handed to it by the British public and it nosedived out of the Top 75 in the space of just over a month. Honestly, you lot. Next is Don’t Tell ‘Em, and quite frankly the only notable thing about it is its shoddy use of Snap!’s Rhythm Is A Dancer. It comes to something when a Nicki Minaj song is an improvement on what came before, but it’s all relative – only Nicki Minaj could’ve or would’ve recorded Anaconda and I doubt anyone is more relieved about that than me at the moment.

Guts Over Fear is an improvement of sorts for Eminem; he’s really gone deep into introspective mode here, to the point of admitting that a fair proportion of his music says exactly the same thing in different ways. This is the “intelligent Eminem” that we really don’t hear enough from. The Vamps have to follow that, and they’re in so much trouble with this song they’ve had to lift the chorus from Cecilia and use that instead. Never mind, I’m sure they’ll have hundreds of hit singles after this and they’ll be able to put it down as a bad day at the office. Yes, yes, that’s exactly what’ll happen. As for Steal My Girl, it’s a “good-evening-Wembley-let’s-see-those-hands-in-the-air” lump of excitement-free pop. All in all, October 2014 hasn’t really been the best of months, has it?