March 2012 – Shine On


t2012031

DCCXIII – March 2012

Running total Highest chart placing The song and who did it
7618
9
ASS BACK HOME
Gym Class Heroes featuring Neon Hitch
7619
8
TURN ME ON
David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj
7620
2
STARSHIPS
Nicki Minaj
7621
9
DRUNK
Ed Sheeran
7622
2
ROCKSTAR
Dappy featuring Brian May
7623
9
SEVEN NATION ARMY
Marcus Collins
7624
7
BRIGHT LIGHTS
Tinchy Stryder featuring Pixie Lott
7625
5
LOVE ME
Stooshe featuring Travie McCoy
7626
10
NIGGAS IN PARIS
Jay-Z featuring Kanye West
7627
3
ELEPHANT
Alexandra Burke featuring Erick Morillo
7628
6
PROUD
JLS
7629
4
LAST TIME
Labrinth
7630
2
SHE DOESN’T MIND
Sean Paul
7631
1
PART OF ME
Katy Perry

 

No, I don’t think I’ll be rushing to listen to Ass Back Home again. It’s not awful, but it’s nothing special. The video for Turn Me On is very revealing; it turns out David Guetta built Nicki Minaj out of moving parts, so now you know who to thank / blame. Without the spoken bit near the end, Turn Me On is a genuinely good tune. Yes, I know David Guetta was involved, but I call it as I see it. Starships is preposterous, of course it is, but in its defence it knows this and runs with it as far as it can. It’s hard to criticise a song too much when it’s beyond ridicule to begin with.

Drunk – great song, great video. Good work, Ed Sheeran. Rockstar – not so good, but Brian May’s guitar solo elevates things somewhat.

I know I’m in the minority here, but I really, really like Marcus Collins’s take on Seven Nation Army. It works just as well as a soul song as a rock number if you ask me. Bright Lights is a fairly decent song with another sodding Mini in the video. Seriously, Minis aren’t that cool. Anyway, Beetles are better; that’s just a fact. I’ve never heard a girl band sing with defiantly London accents before, so that’s a first for Stooshe. They seem… excitable.

Jay-Z and Kanye West have come up with a good tune, but I suspect that as far as the lyrics go, I’m a long way from their target market. Now then, Elephant’s not bad. It’s not the sort of fare that you’d expect from an X-Factor winner, but this is Alexandra Burke’s best collaboration yet, mainly because everyone knows their jobs: Erick Morillo does the music and Alexandra Burke does the singing. Simple, sorted, lovely.

Bloody hell, what happened here? A dull, worthy, turgid ballad Proud may be, but this is JLS. A band as big as them doesn’t have a single fall right out of the Top 75 in three weeks flat… but they have. If I worked for their record company, I’d be working what went wrong there. Last Time is better, but I’m not entirely sure if I like it or not. It has its moments, but also a few duff bits. Hang on, has Sean Paul had singing lessons? Or is that AutoTune? Either way, it sounds strange. ’Better’ strange, but still strange. Part Of Me… nah. Too samey.