I JUST WANNA BE LOVED

Culture Club

Culture Club reforming, what a deeply frightening thought. Of course you realise this paves the way for other seemingly-defunct bands to return, such as Brother Beyond, Altern-8, Fuzzbox, even Bombalurina. Still, if they must return the very least they could do is start again almost exactly as they left off like these young(ish) chaps. Have a listen, go on, it'll take you right back to 1986 (you remember, when singles used to go up the charts) with its smooth, soulful reggae-tinged sound that utterly refutes the existence of even a hint of drum'n'bass. Truly the Band That Time Forgot.

INERTIA CREEPS

Massive Attack

Dark, miserable, brooding and full of atmosphere. Hell, you could say that about almost any Massive Attack single. The trouble is, mood merchants though they are, this is precisely the sort of thing they do better than anyone else right now and to be honest, if anyone else had done this song it would have ended up as a routine slab of grimness. It's not routine, as it happens.

LABOUR OF LOVE III

UB40 (album)

Whatever happened to UB40? Oh yes, now I remember, nobody went to see Speed 2, so nobody heard their last single which was on the soundtrack so nobody knew it was out therefore there was no advance warning for the album so when it came out nobody bought it because nobody knew it existed which means that to get back into the limelight the band had to do a third Labour Of Love album which'll do very nicely thank you and get them back to the top where they surely belong but they wouldn't have got into this mess in the first place if it hadn't been for Speed 2 and it's all Keanu Reeves' fault for doing another film instead. Thank heavens that's sorted out.