SEASONS IN THE SUN / I HAVE A DREAM

Westlife

I’ve been kind so far, I’ve not reviewed any of their stuff for fear of what I may say. I’ve been patient too, I’ve given them ample opportunity to prove themselves capable of just a teensy-weensy spark of originality. This time though, they’ve gone too far. God forbid they should go for their first Christmas Number One with an original song –that just won’t do, not when you’re up against Sir Cliff and the might of Mr Hanky The Christmas Poo. Just to be on the safe side then, here they come with two cover versions, one as limp and gutless as the other. The sad thing is that this may very well get there but I hope, I really really hope, it falls short. Not just because it’s a horrid, mangled wreck of a single but also because I think it’s time we all laid Abba to rest and starting getting on with writing new songs.

1994-99 SINGLES BOX SET

Boyzone

Be honest, you know full well what to expect. Sixteen singles, moving from bland-but-fun swiftly on to bland-and-excruciatingly-dull. Still, that’s just my opinion and there are one or two people who may disagree. That said though, I think I can offer one perfectly valid criticism of this collection. Usually when a single comes out it’s released on a variety of formats, all bearing different track listings. Then, when the box set comes out all the tracks from that single are put onto one disc. On this occasion, all the CD1s have been lumped together in their original packaging and the CD2s with their different B-sides are completely forgotten about. In other words, aside from a swanky red box to put all the singles in and a tiny 2000 calendar it almost seems like the record company couldn’t be bothered. Shame really.

The Best Songs Of The Millennium

A TOWN CALLED MALICE

The Jam

Quite simply the best thing Paul Weller has ever done. Everything’s gone right here – why, it’s even got a jaunty, uplifting feel to it. I defy anyone who’s heard it not to like it. I’ll have more of this please.

The Worst Songs Of The Millennium

I TRY

Macy Gray

I thought long and hard before including this in the list. Let’s be fair, it went up the charts three weeks running, that’s one hell of an achievement on its own, it was in the Top Ten for two months and it’s still in the Top Twenty even now. I have only one major problem with this song. I hate everything about it. I hate the tune, the way it never seems to end, even the noise emanating from the backing singers. As for Ms Gray herself, why they didn’t just sample a cement mixer is beyond me. The whole thing just irritates the hell out of me and I can’t wait for it to disappear.