FOREVER

Charlatans

Now then, this is different. There's no chorus for a start so that's the singalong value diminished (no Live & Kicking for you matey jim). It also happens to be the best thing they've put out in years (yes, that includes Tellin' Stories). Deep, moody, dark, brooding and not a hope in hell of getting to Number One. There, that sums it up nicely.

HOOLIGAN

Embrace

I didn't like Embrace's first album at all. Every single song screamed "Anthem!" at me and I can't be doing with that. This then, is the new single. It's out on 1 November and I know what you're thinking. Is it any good? No, it isn't. Sorry. It's a run-of-the-mill slow-paced singalong (it's that word again) that goes absolutely nowhere. Lads, have a listen to the Charlatans and then maybe you'll come back with something half-decent, eh?

DRIVING TO DAMASCUS

Big Country (album)

I heard this album without knowing who or what it was and I honestly thought it was yet another middle-aged American college rock band peddling their tatty goods in an even worse manner than Semisonic, New Radicals et al. Imagine my surprise then, when I discover that the source of this heinous noise being force-fed through my lugholes is none other than a mid-eighties British rock band that were famed for the anthemic "this'll-sound-great-live-honest-guv" feel they gave all their singles. This is utterly dreadful in every respect and nothing I can write can fully convey the horror of this dismal offering. If you know anyone who's into clay-pigeon shooting, give them a copy. They'll know exactly what to do with it.

GOIN' DOWN

Melanie C

Still waiting for a decent Number One? Well, all being well and with a good following wind, this may get there. Life can be very cruel though...