WE’RE GOING TO IBIZA!

Vengaboys

You thought I was going to let this one escape, didn’t you? Well, it took a while but I finally plucked up the courage to listen to it. I really hope for the Vengaboys’ sakes that they’re not announcing their travel plans here, because if they are then when they arrive in Ibiza they can expect a welcoming party from lots of big, burly locals wielding baseball bats and lead pipes. Why? Because this sad donkey of a kiddiedisco song is the worst Ibiza single ever and reflects horrifically badly on the entire island. To sum up – this isn’t very good, kids like it and those two factors have combined to take it to Number One. Next!

ONE FROM THE MODERN

Ocean Colour Scene (album)

Think "Soundtrack for an imaginary Vietnam war film". Then think "Done By Numbers". Now put the two together, listen and try to stay awake throughout. It’s difficult, but it can be done. Just.

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

Tom Jones and the Cardigans

Tom Jones is a top bloke. He was also very good in Mars Attacks! There is just one small problem that irks me. He really can’t sing anymore, can he? Those dulcet tones that graced your mum’s record collection back in the 1960s have long been replaced by something that sounds like an over-excited family of crows. Collaborations like this prove my theory. This Talking Heads number starts off all funky and happy and then the singing kicks in. Nina Cardigan sings in that quiet, understated way of hers and – brace yourself – she hits the right notes! Then in comes Tom. He starts singing and my cat leaves the room. Obviously his music doesn’t speak to her. Still, the end result sounds rather good and that, unbelievably, is because the two vocal styles are so different. Tom Jones in Good Single Shocker? Yes.