GOIN’ DOWN

Melanie C

When I started reviewing things for this paper exactly a year ago, I can tell you I never expected this. Imagine, if you will, the following unlikely scenario. The Finest Band In Creation (Depeche Mode, naturally) meet up in a recording studio far, far away and start making sweet music, the likes of which we haven’t heard since Dave Gahan was doing more speed than a whippet in a Ferrari. Popping their heads round the door, who could it be? Why, if it isn’t Garbage! Actually, it is. The two Monsters Of Rock TM promptly belt out a few numbers together and decide it’s good, but it’s not quite right. Strange blippy noises are required. As if by magic, Blur appeared. They promptly donate most of the extraneous noises from 13 and stick around for the result. The songs are sounding rather good, but no-one can decide who should take over the warbling duties. Then (and admit it, you saw this coming a mile off) a Spice Girl wanders by. The three bands immediately tell Victoria to get lost and send in someone who can sing. She does both. Mel C drops in and, surprisingly, does the music justice and sounds like she’s up for it. If you can hear a faint ringing sound from around the 27^th September (when this comes out), it’s probably just the death knell for the Spice Girls…

KING OF SNAKE

Underworld

I’ll have more of this please. Three good singles off a decidedly patchy album (four if you count the 1997 release of Moaner)? I’d settle for that. You know the routine by now – thumping beats, unintelligible lyrics, oh yes, it can only be Underworld. This time they’ve livened it up with an I Feel Love-style riff and it’s the best outing off Beaucoup Fish by miles. All good reviews this week? Easily explained – I’m ignoring Westlife in the hope that they’ll go away.