YAHHH!

Soulja Boy

The first time I heard this, I wasn't quite sure what I was listening to. Was it another South Park single, featuring Timmy this time round instead of Chef, or were the people behind this actually serious? Once I found out what the song was and who it was by, that blew the Timmy theory out of the water, but it really didn't make me feel any better. There's Average, then there's Not Very Good, then there's Awful, then there's Utterly Dire and then, about five miles beyond Utterly Dire there's this. If the title of a song features the same letter three times in succession, then that's usually a fair indicator that the song isn't going to be much cop, and this one follows the rule exactly. The tune's repetitive, the lyrics are a tad unfriendly towards his own fans (apparently the title of the song is his response to any requests for an autograph), and his strangled yelps are a unique cross between the aforementioned South Park character and Cohagen from Total Recall, just after he's stopped tumbling down the mountain. If I was being nice, I'd describe this as "not quite my cup of tea". Let's be honest though, this is every bit as bad as anything I've heard since I started reviewing the singles for this esteemed tome. Well, maybe I'm being a tad harsh there - it's better than 50 Cent's Straight To The Bank, which really was a low watermark, but not much else and I include the Vengaboys in that list.

THAT'S NOT MY NAME

Ting Tings

It only feels like a couple of weeks ago that I gave Great DJ a glowing review, and surprise surbloominprise, it didn't even reach the Top 75. Well, if the music buying public aren't going to pay attention to anything I say (and I can't say as I'd blame them), I'm going to recommend another one of their songs and to Hell with the consequences. This is, if anything, even poppier than its predecessor, but it gives the lead singer a chance to strut her stuff instead of sharing vocal duties and the tune's a bit more substantial too, in that there's a lot more going on in the background. This really ought to give the band their first hit, because if this doesn't do it you have to wonder just what it is they'd have to do to make it big. Probably find some incriminating photos of the people in charge of compiling the Singles Chart or something.

WHO'S THAT GIRL

Robyn

There's not really a lot to this song, you know... but for some reason I think it's her best single since she came back. I'm still of the opinion that With Every Heartbeat's going to be a really good song when they get around to finishing it, but this is the finished article. It's a fun single to listen to, but not in a really naff "fun" sort of way. No, this song doesn't force itself to be overly happy, so everything sounds natural and... well... right. Shame it's the fifth single off the album, if it had come out earlier it probably would've done a lot better than it will.

WANDERLUST

Bjork

Looks like Bjork's managed to restrain herself this time round, after the completely mental Declare Independence. Mind you, Bjork's definition of "restrained and sensible" is still more than enough to get most other singers locked away in padded cells if they tried anything similar. For one thing, the first minute or so is nothing more than foghorns playing off against each other to make something resembling a tune. Then there's Bjork's inimitable style of singing, which is all over the rest of this song, probably making up for her speaking / shouting on her last single. Finally, just to top things off, the song ends with even more horns (and little else, truth be told) closing the proceedings. The song's completely mad, but it's a good mad - there's a discernable tune to be had out of all this, even if you could hardly call it a singalong. It also chugs along for well over seven minutes, so if nothing else, you're certainly getting your money's worth.