CHASING PAVEMENTS

Adele

You know when you hear a song that's really well done, but somehow you just can't get to actually like it? Hello, Adele. She's got a really good voice, there's no doubt about that, and you'll hear far worse debut singles than this. Not only that, but the backing band (and it is a proper band too, with trumpets and drums and kazoos… well, two out of three anyway) does its bit to make the whole thing sound, well, really rather accomplished as it happens… but my personal tastes don't quite extend as far as slow soul music. I've been told before I have no soul, so maybe that explains it. I won't complain if it's a hit, in fact it deserves to do well (cue the Simon Kiss Of Death), it's just that this song just doesn't do it for me. It's not often I don't like a song but refuse to slate it, so this is something of a collector's item.

SUNSHINE IN THE RAIN

B.W.O.

Have you seen the video to this one? It's very strange. The singer keeps looking at his hands throughout, and he's either a) wondering what they are or b) wondering who's put the big round stickers on them. Then it cuts to a couple of blokes gleefully whacking stickers on each other's heads. The whole thing's more O.C.D. than B.W.O., but it's precisely the sort of thing our Scandinavian friends can get away with. If a British pop group did a video like that, there'd be lots of winking at the camera, as if to say to the audience, "Yeah, we know what we're doing is complete and utter bobbins, but it's a laugh innit?", whereas B.W.O. play the whole thing straight, as if there's some hugely significant meaning to what essentially amounts to buying a load of stickers from WH Smith and larking about with them. Oh, and there's also a song that goes with the video. Just thought you might like to know. It's a happy, jolly pop effort that on its day is capable of outshining any other poppy number in the charts. Unfortunately, it sounds as though its day was sometime around March 2000, not that I'd ever suggest that it sounds dated or anything. All the same, I wouldn't be surprised if this came out as a cassette single. To be honest, there's really no point in me saying whether the song's good or bad, because the way the charts are these days this doesn't really stand much of a chance, but I'll tell you anyway because I'm (not at all) sure you really want to know. Quite frankly, it's a bit naff.

ANYONE WHO HAD A HEART

Atomic Kitten

Oh good. They're back. The same band that ruthlessly hunted down and slaughtered The Tide Is High and Ladies Night amongst others have now set their sights on another classic. Apparently, one of this year's European Capitals of Culture – no, not Stavanger, the other one – has had a few of its locals do rather well in the Hit Parade over the years, so an album's being brought out to celebrate and hey presto – Atomic Kitten get to cover a Cilla Black chart-topper. On the face of it, you'd be entitled to wonder how short that particular straw was. Now, I know it's easy to criticise their music, and God knows they've been only too willing to provide the ammunition over the years, but this is a marked departure from their earlier stuff. For a start, their singing's improved quite dramatically (and surprisingly), and for another thing, this isn't the usual anodyne midtempo ditty that they used to put out at the height of their success. Yeah, fair enough it's another slowie, but if you didn't know who this was you'd never guess. Everyone concerned has put the hours in here and no mistake and… well, they've earned this from me. Well done, Atomic Kitten. First, Nickelback, now this. I must've travelled into a parallel universe where black is white or something. I hope not, because zebra crossings'll be a nightmare…