STRONGER

Gary Barlow

And you thought he was dead. Shame on you. He’s been extremely busy these past eighteen months or so, what with meeting such high profile figures as Clive Anderson, Andi Peters and, er, well, that’s it. Oh yes, almost forgot, apparently he’s been writing some brand new songs too. Tell you what, after hearing this single I can’t wait to hear something new either but I suppose we’ll just have to wait. As for this, it’s not bad if you like this sort of thing. You know Gary’s definition of uptempo – Pet Shop Boys vs Boyzone? Well, this is it all over. It’s going to be a hit, but not a very big one. Thank heavens that’s over with. Can I review something good now?

WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL

Ronan Keating

This isn’t what I had in mind. Ignore the fact that the record company have shamelessly bunged this song on Boyzone’s By Request album, the simple fact of the matter is Ronan + Slow Song = Number One. I just don’t see what all the fuss is about really. He’s a TV natural (even though the shows themselves are unwatchable), he’s got looks that have girls from 8 to 80 throwing themselves at his feet, but he sings with even less emotion than Pete Sampras filling in a Direct Debit mandate. This will be a massive hit and nothing short of the end of the world can stop it. Knowing my luck, it’ll probably be on the soundtrack for that too.

NOTHING LEFT

Orbital

This is more like it. Forget the dire Style, this is what Orbital should be serving up. It’s boppy, inventive, upbeat and it’s all the things a dance single should be. If you think this is good though, you wait ‘till you hear Way Out. That, my huge and devoted following (hello to you both), is even better.