MERRYMAKING AT MY PLACE

Calvin Harris

Oh dear, there really isn't very much to this one at all, is there? I'm not saying there was an awful lot happening on his previous two singles, it's just it's more… obvious here. One single drum loop, one or two bass riffs and a bit of singing that's almost as repetitve as the tune itself – mix 'em all together and hey presto, you've got Calvin Harris's new single. Deeply, not to mention incredibly, average stuff.

GIRLS AND BOYS IN LOVE

Rumble Strips

The last time I looked, this band was still bereft of a Top 40 single. Well, if this doesn't break their duck then I don't know what they've got to do in order to succeed. This is an unashamedly happy sounding tune, and by that I mean it's upbeat and cheerful, and thankfully not so happy you could imagine it being played during a round of Musical Chairs, mainly because the lyrics aren't quite as chipper as the tune. It's fairly safe to say I wouldn't be dishing out such a positive write-up if this was a tune you could remove chairs to. Nope, this is that rare thing – a genuinely jolly song that I can listen to without needing a bucket handy. There was the Feist single a few weeks back, now this one, either I'm mellowing out or popular music these days is getting better… I really, really hope it's the latter.

WE COULD BE HAPPY

SixNationState

Blimey, another happy jolly tune. And, unlike the Rumble Strips, there are no catches with the lyrics – this is happy happy joy joy all the way through. It also sounds an awful lot like the sort of jingly-jangly indie guitar pop singles that the 1980s were so good at producing. This is two cheery numbers in a row that I've liked now, and I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm turning into my parents. Help.

SEXY! NO NO NO...

Girls Aloud

What the Hell is this? A nice slow start (that's obviously building up to something much faster and harder sounding) ruined by having what sounds like a female Speak and Spell singing over the top, and then when it does speed up the lyrics are all over the place. If a song has a stupid title, there's a reasonable chance that the song itself is also going to be of a debatable quality, and that's what's happened here. There's one riff repeated nearly all the way through, apart from one bit that sounds like it could be leading into the chorus, but it's difficult to tell, as the verses and chorus (or choruses) are so randomly laid out there's no way of working out what's what. Worst of all, when it ended I was thinking, "You what? Where's the rest of the song?" I like pop singles to try something different, but this really is shockingly dreadful. It makes Biology look good, that's how bad it is.

OVERKILL

Kosheen

Kosheen, now there's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time. They did some really good stuff a few years ago – Catch and Hide U are the two songs that immediately spring to mind. Here's how good they were – I can't stand most drum 'n' bass, but I could quite happily listen to Kosheen's first album because they'd bothered to make the songs interesting to listen to. Unfortunately, they rather blew it with the second album, which was nowhere near as good as Resist, and for the best part of four years they've been very, very quiet. Well, now they're back, and if you're wondering whether it's worth the wait, well it is. Just about. It's a dancey song with a bit of an attitude, which is lovely, but there's something about the wailing guitar noises during the chorus that makes this sound as though it's a remix of a much harder and rockier track rather than a brand new song in its own right. Have a listen, you'll see what I mean, probably. If you can get past that, it's actually one of those songs that can grow on you and in case you're wondering, it's not drum 'n' bass this time either. Yep, this'll do nicely.