THE HEINRICH MANEUVER

Interpol

Yeah, it's the American spelling. If you ask me though, and I'm fairly sure you didn't, the spelling's irrelevant when the song's as good as this. The singer still sounds a bit like Ian Curtis, the band still play their indie rock'n'roll (for want of a better description, and trust me, I do want a better description) as only they know how, but there's more to them this time. I can't quite put my finger on what the extra stuff is, but whatever it is it works. If you'd been away for a couple of years and wanted to let the world know you were back in business, there are far worse ways to come back than this. The new album could be something very special indeed if this is anything to go by.

WHEN YOU'RE GONE

Avril Lavigne

Whenever I hear a song that features the line "I've never felt this way before" or something similar, alarm bells usually start ringing in my head. Right on cue during this rather dull pop/rock ballad, it crops up during the second verse, but by then I already had an idea of where this song was going. In fact, I can tell you right now where this song is, it's on the desk, near the PC monitor with a nice, hot mug of tea resting on it. Girlfriend never suffered that fate, but then Girlfriend was far more enjoyable to listen to.

TARANTULA

Smashing Pumpkins

The theory is that this lot have come back to show the younger bands how it's supposed to be done. Of course, cynics could argue that if they were that great they wouldn't have split up in the first place, but that'd be a very harsh judgement, and on this evidence, it sounds like the break's done them the power of good. I'd describe this as a proper barnstormer, but I'm not quite sure why anyone would feel the need to go around storming barns, so I won't. It is, however, a full-on, pedal to the floor, all guitars blazing number and it's not too shabby, either. I could be wrong, but all of a sudden things are looking good again this week.

STRAIGHT TO THE BANK

50 Cent

Yep, I'm wrong. Maybe I've completely misinterpreted what he's saying, after all it's very easy to do that seeing as he always sounds bored stiff, as though the effort of speaking into a microphone is too much like hard work, but if I was a fan of Mr Cent I'd feel a tad insulted by this song. The first verse is little more than your humble narrator explaining how many millions of dollars he's made, who he's paid, and some of the lovely things he's bought with the royalties. Bless him, he even says "I ain't even got to rap now, life is made". Well done sir, good for you. Then we come to the chorus, and if you thought he was bragging before, that's just peanuts compared to this. The chorus is just one line repeated over and over, namely "I'm laughing straight to the bank with this", backed up with him actually laughing. Yes, that honestly is the chorus. And is he happy? Is he really? No, course not, the second verse includes the line "It's never enough dough". Even the tune can't save this, and frankly that's so uninspired and repetitive it gets tired before the first verse has finished. When I listen to music I expect the performer to at least try and come up with something worthwhile, not to use the running time to boast about how he doesn't have to bother anymore now he's obscenely rich, by way of a song that seems hell-bent on proving his point. Now, I'll admit that I'm not the biggest fan of rap music, but when it's done right and a bit of effort's put in, it can sound fantastic. If you want proof, listen to Eminem's Stan – it's an utterly amazing example of storytelling, not just as rap, but songwriting in general. Not this, though. My opinion won't stop this becoming a hit, but here it is anyway - this is disgracefully bad.