BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

Vengaboys

Be honest, how many of my huge and loyal following of readers are praying the title refers to the four band members spontaneously combusting? It ain’t gonna happen. Sorry. Let’s look at the evidence, then. The uncanny similarity to both their previous outings, the bloke who says "Vengaboys are back in town" through a vocoder, the fact that this is obviously going to be huge. I have to admit I laughed like a hyena that’s been told a particularly funny joke when I heard this, so I think this time I’m going to recommend you buy this. It’s so hilariously awful that you have to admire the guts it must’ve taken to release it.

I BREATHE AGAIN

Adam Rickitt

Much as we all admired his silky smooth acting skills in Corrie, it’s time for him to step back and say to himself, "What the hell was I thinking?" Not because of the song, no, that’s just yet another instantly forgettable kiddiedisco Cappella-wannabe (hey kids, remember them?) in which our Adam tries his hand at singing and fails. Really, really badly. No, the big career ender is the highly dodgy poster that comes free with the digipack. One side’s fine, it’s just a picture of him acting as kiddiebait like all pop star posters do. Where it gets interesting is the other side. It’s just a big picture of his bare chest. That’s it. Even his head’s lopped off. It’s not provocative or anything, it just looks silly and out of place with the song. A marketing mishap, methinks. Much like the singing career, it would appear.

TAKE ME TO YOUR HEAVEN

Charlotte Nilsson

Oh goody, a Eurodisney Song Contest winner. And it sounds like early Abba too! Gosh, I feel so priveliged. Sorry, but this whole Abba revival thing is getting really boring now. Why can’t we have a Style Council revival? Oh yes, I forgot, that’d make Ocean Colour Scene redundant.