DOO-DAH!

Cartoons

There’s a more appropriate word that’d describe this single perfectly and, oddly enough, that begins with doo as well. Now I know that this lot have aimed themselves squarely at the five-year-olds-and-under market, but surely even a small person as young as that must know a sad rump as obvious as this when they see it. If you remember Witch Doctor and sadly, I’m sure you do, then think of that mixed with that old standard the Camptown Races. Horrific, isn’t it? (Clue – yes.)

HEY BOY, HEY GIRL

Chemical Brothers

This is still utterly fantastic. Just thought I’d let you know.

LEISURE NOISE

Gay Dad (album)

So here we are at some upper-class poncey mag, and the editor’s decided that all the indie bands right now are rubbish and he could do better. So what he does is he hires these people off the street and tells them what instruments to play. Then he has some songs written over the course of a few board meetings with the directors and he tells his band to play them. Honest, this is what it sounds like. No feeling, no life, no enthusiasm and seemingly no end. Get out of my sight Gay Dad and take your horrid dirgey rock with you.

SCHIZOPHONIC

Geri Halliwell (album)

Geri Halliwell can’t sing. At all. Not a jot. Nil singing ability. None whatsoever. My cat does better than this when she’s asking to be fed. OK, fair enough, it’s not that bad, but there are times when you really feel sorry for her. She tries, gawd bless her, she really does but the range just isn’t there and her ill-advised attempt at rapping just compounds things. The tunes are more adult than her previous (assisted) outings, but all the time the musical styles of the Spice Girls are there lurking and, at times, jump right out and engulf the songs. All in all, this could’ve been worse but all the same, it’s a good thing she’s got other day-jobs.