MUNICH

Editors

Let’s start 2006 off with a happy review, shall we? I’m still in a good mood from 2005, so let’s see how long I can carry that on into the new year. This’ll do for a start and do you know, I’d never heard the Editors before this. I’m shocked, on the strength of this song I really do feel I’ve missed out here. Twenty years ago, the only Top 10 placing a guitar-led song like this would’ve got would’ve been on the Indie Chart in the Channel 4 days of The Chart Show. How times change. This is one of those tracks that hits the ground running and gathers more and more momentum as time goes by, which is always good in my book. In fact, it’s so assured and confident about what it’s doing, I really don’t think I have any option but to like it. This isn’t a band trading on gimmicks (a big hello to the Darkness), they’ve just happened to bash out a really good song and good on them for doing so.

THAT'S MY GOAL

Shayne Ward

Well, that’s about it for the goodwill then. How on Earth did this get to Number One? “Maybe because it’s a good song”, that’s the usual argument, isn’t it? In that case, try explaining away the Vengaboys and Every Loser Wins. This song’s so sterile I could chuck the CD in a blender, liquidise it and pour the remnants down the toilet for 100% limescale protection. I mean really, what is the point of this track? I just don’t understand it. When you’ve got proper songs in the chart and anonymous could-be-sung-by-anyone tat like this still gets to Number One, to be honest, you have to applaud the record company’s nerve. They know that quality doesn’t matter here, only marketing and sales and bless ’em, they’ve achieved their aim of hijacking the Christmas Number One with something to spare. As for poor old Shayne, well, he doesn’t really shine here, his singing is efficient without being exciting, but maybe if he’s given a song with a hint of personality next time he might sound better. He might be aiming to emulate Will Young, but on this evidence Steve Brookstein may be nearer the mark.

BREAK THE NIGHT WITH COLOUR

Richard Ashcroft

A fair proportion of the music industry’s got themselves excited about the return of Richard Ashcroft. Well, if pedestrian, bland pop music for dads is what you’re after, then Mr Ashcroft would appear to be your man. This single is so easy-going it could come with a free rocking chair (although that would, of course, make it ineligible for the charts) and with absolutely nothing to retain my interest either musically or lyrically, I’m afraid the whole thing just passed me by. I hope there’s better stuff on the album, I’d like to know what the fuss is about.

TWELVE

¡Forward, Russia!

Rough and ready doesn’t even begin to describe this one, although seeing as they’re the first words I’ve used in this review they just have. This has all the hallmarks of a home demo, it sounds just like the band recorded the whole thing in one take, couldn’t afford to hire an expensive studio and producer to add the necessary spit and polish to allow it to compete with the big boys and just chucked it out as is. The lyrics are mostly incomprehensible, all their songs have numbers instead of titles, the singer sounds like he’s struggling at some points and it only just makes it over the two minute mark, but… I dunno… actually I quite like it. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think it’s the imperfections that help it along with the impression that they’re giving it everything. I really hope this makes the Top 40, in the nicest possible way it’s got that “if they can make the chart then so can I” feel to it and that’s what it should all be about. See, you don’t have to do X-Factor, just form a band and do it yourself. It’s probably much more fun in the long run anyway.