TICKET OUTTA LOSERVILLE

Son of Dork

Well, I really don’t know what to say. I need to have a think about this one. (Your reviewer walks away for a moment, thinking about the song he’s just heard.) I’ve thought about it and this is what I think. Busted Mark II. That’s boiled it down to three words, now comes the science part. Concentrate. I’m sure you remember James Bourne. He was the chappie in Busted who had the hairstyle that resembled some sort of novelty ice cream. Well, his hair hasn’t changed, and to some extent neither has the music. It’s still loud pop/rock with some really rather naff transatlantic phrases in the lyrics (the title for a start, but if you didn’t know better you’d be forgiven for thinking the words were not written by an Englishman, but hey, that’s songwriting influences for you). Apart from the Stone Roses-esque riff at the start, it’s a bit like having Busted continue, only with an altered line-up. However, and I really can’t believe I’m about to say this, if you can get past all that, the song does a pretty good job of telling a story and the lads (of which there are now five) are having such a good time they come perilously close to getting over-excited and losing the plot altogether. That doesn’t mean I like this song, but if there are any positives to be found I like to let you know. This is a minor step up from Busted, but only minor and with a name like Son of Dork, that’s a joke that’s going to wear very thin very quickly. It’ll be interesting to see what happens to them – I can see them being too “last year” for Smash Hits readers and somewhat lacking in credibility for the readers of Kerrang. I’ve been wrong before, though.

HUNG UP

Madonna

Well, if this is the sort of song that results from pottering around the house looking for inspiration whilst recovering from recreating Buckaroo with a real horse, then it’s a wonder that more pop stars haven’t attempted similar equestrian misadventures. I can even think of some who may be desperate enough to think that’s a serious suggestion. It’s hard to believe, but she’s getting on a bit now (she’s 47 – no honestly, I wouldn’t lie to you), though you’d never guess from this. Considering that this is the woman who gave the world American Life, Hanky Panky and the hilarious Erotica, I’m amazed and actually rather pleased to report that she’s got everything spot on here. From the ticking clocks at the start to the Abba sample (which I will forgive because it’s not Dancing Queen, thank God (it’s Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)) (That enough brackets for you? Here’s two more.)), through to the fact that it’s a proper dance tune with a fully-formed sound and not some minimal-sounding Mirwais jiggery-pokery. More importantly, it’s a song with a dirty great smile on its face and every now and again, it’s good to have a tune like this come around. The last song she did that was as good as this was Justify My Love so it’s been a long time coming. More to the point, she’s made herself relevant again just when it looked like she’d lost the plot. It’ll be interesting to see what the album has in store for us, mind you just knowing this song is on it automatically makes it better than American Life. Anything else is just a bonus.

SWITCH IT ON

Will Young

It’s different, I’ll give him that. It’s a strange mixture of Primal Scream’s Movin’ On Up and George Michael’s Faith with Kenny Loggins’s faithful old warhorse Danger Zone thrown in for good measure. Best thing he’s ever done? Of course. Any good? Er… ah, well… you see… um… oh dear. By his standards, it’s awesome. By your average pop star’s standards, it’s pulling up trees. Doesn’t do a lot for me, but I’d rather he did more stuff like this and less like Leave Right Now (nice video, shame about the song) so for once I’m going to let him off the hook.