I SAID NEVER AGAIN (BUT HERE WE ARE)

Rachel Stevens

I can imagine that someone like Geri Halliwell would kill for a song even one tenth as good as this. In fact, such a deed would get her locked up and that would be one less pop star to worry about. Well, it’s one way to leave the music industry I suppose, and if you’re going to go out, go out with a bang. Rachel Stevens somehow continues to impress me with her recorded output these days after a rather rocky start (Funky Dory, instead of a clever play on words, may as well have been Latin for “total pants”) and this is no exception. Unfortunately, I’ve thought of many ways in which to describe this and they all make the song sound like a steaming box of horse manure – I can describe it, but you’ll need to listen to it to fully appreciate what I’m getting at. Anyway, here goes, brace yourself. For starters, it sounds as though she’s nicked the drummers off of Adam and the Ants, with a big beady eye on the nifty kit-bashing they did on Antmusic. There’s a hint of glam rock too – I know Gary Glitter’s been pretty much airbrushed out of the history of pop music so instead I’ll say it sounds a bit like the Sweet so as to avoid any potential controversy on that score. Now, so far you might be thinking “Well, this sounds okay, I think I’ll go out and buy it.” You might not, but I’ve got a review to write so I’ll assume you did. See, this is where it gets a bit tricky. The main riff screams Status Quo. You see what I mean? Just those two words together have dropped this song’s street-cred amongst the kids it’s aimed at to somewhere below Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers. That still leaves the rest of us, and let me tell you, in this environment and with this type of song the riff works perfectly. Stop laughing, I can hear you. Look, I told you that describing this song and making it still look good was tricky and now I’ve proved it. My advice, therefore, is to have a listen yourself. Personally, I think it’s a great, fun song to listen to and if La Stevens didn’t have a whale of a time recording it then she’s putting on one hell of an act. Last week, I had a rant and moan about what pop music should not be about. This song completely encapsulates what it is meant to be about, so I’m much happier now.

VOODOO PEOPLE / OUT OF SPACE

Prodigy

There’s an easy way and a hard way to put out the single that precedes the inevitable Best Of – the hard way’s to release a brand new single, with new B-sides and everything, but it does represent good value for money (assuming the new songs are any cop, of course). The easy way is to grab a few old tracks, hand them out to some of the best remixers of the day and say “There you go, we made it, you update it”. Sometimes this approach works and the album strides out of the shops proudly, knowing that the job’s a good ’un, sometimes it doesn’t and the single steps out of the shops rather tentatively, only to trip over a daisy and fall flat on its face. This here’s the Daisy Scenario. From what I’ve heard of the remixes, they may as well have just re-issued the originals. Once again, the Audio Bullys sound as though they’re punching well below their weight, which is a shame as Out Of Space deserves better than what it’s got – the remix is merely okay, but it could certainly have done without the extra lyrics supplied by the mixers. Smack My Bitch Up has been turned into a drum’n’bass track… and that’s it for that one. In fact, only Pendulum manage to turn in something worth the price of admission with their rather feisty take on Voodoo People. To be honest, you’re better off waiting for the album, the single’s just here to pass the time.