POPCORN

Crazy Frog

I’m sure you remember the original. That was class. This is not the original. The people responsible for this single have taken the only song that Hot Butter are famous for, brutally murdered it (blue frog with the revolver in the conservatory), buried it in a shallow grave and then danced on top of it. And what were they dancing to, I don’t hear you ask? Probably this. The frog now has new things to say (and with a noticably different voice too – they’ve actually hired a replacement voice for the Crazy Frog, just imagine putting that on your CV, go on – imagine yourself thinking “Yes! I want to be the new voice for the only creature that makes Jar Jar Binks look cool!”), but he ends up sounding like a demented version of Twiki off of Buck Rogers In The 25th Century. Actually, come to think of it, most of the music on that show was as bad as this. Perhaps this is the future of pop music. Well, I’m not planning on being around in the 25th Century, so hopefully I’ll miss the worst of it. Actually, I’ve just thought of one occasion I could enjoy watching this disc spin and that would be approximately two seconds after somebody with a shotgun shouts “Pull!” – the mental image that conjures up has improved my mood no end.

DOCTOR PRESSURE

Mylo vs Miami Sound Machine

Here’s a story for you. Mylo’s just finished a gig in Brighton and two blokes walk up to him and give him a CD to listen to. They’ve managed to merge his Drop The Pressure with Miami Sound Machine’s Doctor Beat and they’re quite pleased with the end result. So’s Mylo. So are Miami Sound Machine, although God alone knows what they’d be doing in Brighton. Most importantly of all, so are the people who allow bootlegs like these to become fully-fledged official recordings (in layman’s terms, the idea is that instead of having to settle for a downloaded MP3 file of the track encoded in the lowest quality possible, you can pick it up in the shops on a nice shiny CD, with a cover and everything – and then you can make your own MP3 to bung in the iPod). That’s the story, but is the end result any good? Well, Mylo himself has added a little spit and polish to it, and it sounds pretty good if you ask me. It’s not the best example of two songs being fused together – Gloria Estefan sounds a tad squeaky at times – but it’s not that far off and it beats seven bells out of Shot You Down. Besides, think of the hilarity that will ensue when DJs and record shops play the track and discover too late that they’re playing the uncensored version (the Drop The Pressure part contains a naughty word repeated many times over, yet sung beautifully).

AIN’T NO EASY WAY

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

I should hate this song. At first, it sounds like an overly simple song, sung by simple folk and intended for the sort of people who think that Deliverance was a travel documentary – there’s so little to it. Not only that, but there’s also a real country music feel to it. Double whammy. In fact, it’s hard for me to believe that this is the same band that created Love Burns and Whatever Happened To My Rock’n’Roll, that’s how different this is. As I said, I should hate this, me and this sort of music aren’t usually on speaking terms and the lyrics are frankly rubbish. Obviously I don’t, and it’s actually a bit tricky trying to work out why that is. Maybe it’s because it’s good to hear a band with the bottle to try something different, perhaps it’s just that the band sound like they enjoyed making it and would like their listeners to join in the fun, it could even be down to the drummer pounding his drums with a ferocity that could pulverise diamonds. Honestly, I haven’t got a clue, but this is a good ’un and I’m going to recommend it.