LITTLE SISTER

Queens of the Stone Age

I could’ve chosen a far worse song than this to start things off this week. That’s because I thought it best to leave it until next, doesn’t make me look quite so negative that way. This sounds very different to your usual guitar-laden rock song, for one thing the emphasis is placed heavily on the guitars – so much so the drums sound a bit weedy in comparison. The singer’s also had some echo added to his voice, which has the effect of making the guitars sound really full and weighty while everything else… well… doesn’t. I know that sounds like I’m about to give this song an almighty slagging off, but it works, honest. If you’ve heard No-One Knows you’ll have an idea of what I’m trying to get at here – the sound of a tune that’s stripped right down to the bare essentials and works perfectly well as it is. Some bands add too many tweaks and embellishments to their songs (vocoders for a start – if I was King I’d outlaw the damned things), but so far this lot have avoided that particular pitfall. Good on ’em, I say. Right then, brace yourself…

DO SOMETHIN'

Britney Spears

When I listened to this song the first time, the first word that sprang to mind was “desperate”. It was swiftly followed by several others, amongst them “dire” and “unexciting”, before I finally settled on “dripmat”. If you’re a pop star and you want to portray a harder image, it’s a good idea to go through with your ideas completely and not bottle out like here. The fuzzy noises are there, Britney’s got some attitude on her (you go, girl), but it’s all very artificial and the end result is just messy, like somebody high up at her record company thought “I know! Don’t use real instruments, keep the drum machine ticking over, have La Spears say something sassy like “all in my grill” and the world will believe that Britney’s going to kick ass!” It’s not worked out that way. When Britney sings, it doesn’t sound like she’s walked up to the microphone and just gone for it, it sounds like she’s gone through every line with someone deciding how to approach each word for maximum appeal. Christina Aguilera could just about make this song work because she’s got the singing ability (not to mention her impressively varied back catalogue) to pull it off. Britney Spears does not. Therefore - dripmat.

LOVE STEALS US FROM LONELINESS

Idlewild

This has a bit of a “stadium rock” feel to it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know, it’s only when you go past “stadium rock” and into “overblown stage sets and believing your own hype stadium rock”, that’s when the problems start. Musically, it’s a mini-epic. Guitars bashing away, a few “ooh”s in the background and, really, the only way to describe the song is Big – so big it needs a capital B. So we have the huge musical landscape stretching out as far as the eye can see, fair enough and it sounds good on its own, but if the lyrics aren’t up to snuff the whole thing’s going to sound like Idlewild are disappearing up their own backsides, thinking “The public love us almost as much as we do.” I have to tell you, with lyrics as good as these, that’s not going to happen anytime soon which suits me just fine. Any song that proclaims its own title to be stupid has to be worth a listen - the chorus starts with “You said something stupid like ‘love steals us from loneliness’”. I love that idea, you think the song’s going to be a bit pompous because of the title and then when you hear it it turns to be one of those everything-you-know-is-wrong moments. Fantastic. For any kids who may be reading this – firstly, hello you. Secondly, do yourself a favour and buy this instead of Britney’s new single – believe me, when you’re older you’re probably more likely to be listening to this sort of thing anyway so consider it a headstart into the wonderful world of un-prefabricated music.