COFFEE & T.V.

Blur

How's this for an exclusive, eh? This is the follow up to Tender and it's out towards the end of May. Naturally, I'm assuming you already own a copy of 13, the masterpiece album from whence this little beauty has been plucked, so you don't need me to review it. What? You don't? Well, it's more poppy than Tender and Graham's singing as well as Damon. It's hard to believe this is the worst song on the album, but it just goes to show how storming 13 is, doesn't it?

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND

Barbara Windsor (album)

You can't help but love Babs, can you? That cheeky smile, the sunny disposition, the Carry On history, oh yes, what a legend. She's like Cilla Black but good. What a legend. Legends make mistakes, though. Let's say a middle-aged tea-lady with no singing experience asks a big record company to give her a couple of hours at Abbey Road. If you were the producer, would you let her near a microphone? No, you wouldn't, because your professional reputation would be utterly trashed if the project ever saw the light of day. See where I'm headed? Barbara Windsor cannot sing anymore. Not for toffee, not even to save her life, the singing voice retired some years ago whilst its owner remained active. You can almost hear the air of unreality that seems to permeate this recording, as if the session musicians and backing singers couldn't quite believe this was actually going to be released. It has been though, and it's appalling. There's worse. Mike Reid (Frank "Paaaat!" Butcher in some obscure soap opera) joins in for a duet. I'm sure there's a very good reason for this album's existence, but I haven't got the slightest idea what it could be.