RIDE IT

Geri Halliwell

Some return this is. The song sounds like some bizarre Rachel Stevens / S Club 8 hybrid (and what on Earth has happened to S Club 8 lately? If you know, tell no-one) and ends up sounding pretty unremarkable, well, aside from the fact that the keyboard player sounds like he’s recently got a new and better instrument and was busy finding out what all the extra buttons did during recording. Normally, if someone’s been away for a while, you’d be entitled to expect better than this, but I remember Bag It Up and therefore my expectations have been lowered accordingly. All in all, it’s not the best comeback single ever, in fact, considering comeback singles are meant to scream “I Have Returned” this single is the equivalent of whispering it to somebody who happens to be passing by before scampering off home. Has she learned nothing from Spice Up Your Life - it may have been naff but it did the job, didn’t it? The follow-up single will be better. After this, it really has no choice.

PARTY FOR TWO

Shania Twain and Mark McGrath

First time I heard this, I shook my head, thought “Nah, I couldn’t have just heard that” and made myself a cup of tea. Sufficiently refreshed, I decided to play it again. Again, the end result was “Nah, that can’t be what I just heard”. Perhaps it’s third time lucky, I’ll finally get to the bottom of this. So I played it again and wouldn’t you know it, after three listens it still sounds awful. Here, try these lyrics and see what you think. She sings “You’ll be sexy in your socks”. Smooth, very smooth. To that, he replies “We can polish the floors”. Sounds like someone’s in for a really crazy (spelt k-e-r-a-z-e-e) night. To be fair, the song’s light, fluffy and has a sense of fun, but it did forget all about its main objective, namely being any good whatsoever. You’ll hear worse singles than this, but you’re sure as hell going to hear a lot better too.

WHAT YOU WAITING FOR?

Gwen Stefani

I can’t stand No Doubt. The best song they ever did was It’s My Life and even that was someone else’s to start with. However, I’ve always said I’ll listen to anything, so here’s me telling you what I think of Gwen Stefani’s first solo single. It’s great. The nearest comparison to this that I can think of is when the Spice Girls temporarily disintegrated and Mel C brought out Goin’ Down, almost as if to say it was time to do something totally different. For starters, do not use any No Doubt song as a benchmark for this because this is that something totally different I was talking about just now. You can dance to this and it doesn’t need a remix in order for that to happen. It starts off all quiet, with Gwen singing with the help of a piano and an appreciative audience about leaving her family and being all alone (a reference to No Doubt, perhaps?). Then the beat kicks in and her singing style starts alternating between Weezer’s Hash Pipe and Buggles’ Video Killed The Radio Star – don’t knock it, it works a treat. I’m only guessing, but the lyrics sound as though she’s encouraging herself to do well (although one often repeated line where she tells herself to take a chance while calling herself a name I can’t repeat here is probably pushing her a bit too hard). In fact, lyrically, this single has it nailed. There’s more. The tune sounds as though it’s constantly trying to push itself forwards (even the backing vocals go “tick tock tick tock”) and there’s nearly always something happening in the background while La Stefani’s warbling away. The best thing about this is that she uses so many different vocal styles that you’re never quite sure how the next line is going to be delivered. She could’ve taken the safe option here and done something poppy, instead she’s really gone for it and brought out a song with more attitude and determination than the rest of this week’s Top 20 put together. It’s singles like this that keep me going – play this and Geri’s effort back to back and tell me Geri has the better song.