DEAD FROM THE WAIST DOWN

Catatonia

What would you expect this to sound like with that title? An all-out rocking epic, I'll wager. That's what I was expecting, so imagine my surprise when I pop it on and some orchestral arrangement not a million miles away from What A Wonderful World pipes through my speakers. Then, just when you think it's going to be another standard Easy Listening MOR jaunt, Cerys starts to sing with that cement mixer voice of hers. I have no idea what to make of this and don't even want to try.

FLAT BEAT

Mr Oizo

You'll probably only buy this because of that puppet. It's not even that good a song, but if furry yellow things can sell "banging choons" like this then let us pray that Levi's don't rediscover Edd The Duck.

MOANER

Underworld

As my huge and loyal army of fanatical readers (how are you both?) will know, I reviewed Underworld's Push Upstairs last week and told you there was something even better on the album and that I'd let you know what it was called when I found out. I've found out. This is it and it's a madman of a tune. It starts off fairly quiet and gradually builds up into a nutter and then suddenly goes quiet again. Then the bloke starts singing and (this is the scary bit) as the song builds up again, so does he, until the whole thing's gone ballistic. The best news is, it's actually a single, although it's two years old and therefore a tad tricky to get hold of. Life can be so very cruel.

VIVID

Electronic

This rocks. Backwards and forwards in a rocking chair, wearing slippers and a cardigan, drinking Horlicks and with a cat sleeping soundly on its lap. It's not that this single's rubbish, but all the same, that New Order comeback can't come too soon.