PATIENCE

George Michael (album)

Even now, I can picture half the country screaming "Return To Form!". If that's what they think, fair enough, but here's what I think. For a start, generally speaking George Michael the lyricist knows what he's doing (well, OK, maybe "My U.S. of Angel" in American Angel is a bit naff, but other than that...), mind you, he seems to have taken something of a liking to the f-word. I don't know whether he's going for genuine shock value or it really is the only word that'll fit, but (aside from its justified use in Freeek '04) it just seems out of place on an album like this. God I feel old saying that, but it's true. Those minor points aside, a quick flick through the booklet was enough to convince me that he's put a lot of thought into what he's going to sing, I also took the time to read the words too - oh yes, I've been well busy I have. As far as George Michael the singer goes, again, he's up to his usual standard so the fans are going to be happy - he's deep and moody when the song demands it and croons his socks off at exactly the right time too, mind you, you don't tend to stay successful in the music business for over 20 years if you're rubbish. Unfortunately, we now come to the thing that lets this album down and that's George Michael the tunesmith. As well-written and heartfelt as the lyrics obviously are, it sounds as though that's where all the energy went. Most of the songs sound mellow, easy-going and ultimately bland and uninspiring, which is a shame really considering his fans have had to wait eight years since Older. However... brace yourself. Two songs, namely Shoot The Dog and Flawless (Go To The City) have borrowed their tunes from other songs altogether (Human League's Love Action and The Ones' Flawless). Shoot The Dog I'll let him off for, because the tune has at least been changed around to fit the lyrics, but Flawless... oh dear. The first time I heard it I thought it was a bootleg doing the rounds. Practically all it is is the original tune with George singing over the top. I don't know how much work went into it, but it sounds really lazily done. And now, another quibble. Freeek is two years old and Shoot The Dog isn't much younger (and both were released on a different record label) and neither set the world alight to begin with, so where was the need for putting them on this album? I can't work that one out, I'm afraid. To sum up then, it may not be the big Return To Form, but look on the bright side, some songwriters haven't even got half the vocabulary that George Michael has to work with (and that's probably including the word "vocabulary"), it's just a shame he couldn't supply the words with better music.

SOMEONE LIKE ME

Atomic Kitten

What is it with pop bands that press the self-destruct button and then end their existence with a slowie? Take That did it, S Club did it, Boyzone did it (maybe not really much of a shock there) and now this lot are doing it. Surely it'd be more fun to go out all guns blazing, like the KLF, although I accept that perhaps the sight of Atomic Kitten dumping a dead farmyard animal outside an awards ceremony may be a tad out of character and possibly a little distressing for their younger fans. Mind you, the NME would lap it up. And do you know what really annoys me? Slowie though it is, this is the best thing they've released in years. None of that midtempo guitar pop Eternal Flame tat here, what we have a piano and the three singers simply singing a song. No messing about with harmonies, no samples from ancient disco records, just a song. Granted, it's not the best song in the world, but at least it's one they can call their own after all those naff cover versions. It's simple and effective and one of those songs that gives a glimpse of what could have been if only Atomic Kitten hadn't switched to autopilot after Whole Again.