LOST FOR WORDS

Ronan Keating

Sometimes, if you take a song’s lyrics totally out of context, you can find an entirely new interpretation, probably totally different to the writer’s original intention. For example, take the Broadway classic On The Street Where You Live. Everyone knows what it’s really about, but imagine you didn’t… The singer says he’s often walked down this street but, before today, the pavement always stayed beneath his feet. Fair enough, he’s in love so (metaphorically) he’s flying because he’s happy. Bless. Except – if he was flying the pavement would still be under his feet, albeit further away than would normally be deemed safe. So this means he’s underground. Now, what’s underground and big enough for a man to walk or crawl through… oh my god he’s in the sewer system. Then he says he’s feeling several storeys high – probably down to the unique aroma of the surroundings, I’d say. Puts one line (There’s nowhere else on earth that I would rather be) in a whole new light, that’s for sure. Anyway, while we’re talking about things that stink… this is fairly predictable radio-friendly soft rock that does little and goes nowhere. The backing musicians are a little more active than normal and Mr Keating’s a bit more forceful, but that’s it. Still, it’s ever so slightly different to his usual output so that has to be seen as progress.

STATE OF MIND

Holly Valance

I’m stunned at just how good this is. While the likes of Atomic Kitten, some bloke I’ve just reviewed and Blue seem content to churn out samey, uninspired and stale radio-friendly (it’s that phrase again) dross, Holly Valance has brought out a single that’s brought a bit of respectability back to the world of pop music. Who’d have thought it’d be her? More to the point, what does this song do to deserve praise from me? It doesn’t sit in the background, for a start. It’s heavily electronic and I mean heavily – until she starts singing, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was an old song from the eighties. It goes quiet, loud, quiet again during the first verse just to build things up and then, when the chorus starts so do the guitars. The best thing is that Ms Valance has really gone for it too – she only yelps and screams when the part demands it, not because it’s when Mariah Carey would do it. All in all, very impressive indeed.

LIFE FOR RENT

Dido

Picture this. You’re hitch-hiking along the A5 in driving rain carrying either a crudely-made cardboard sign with the name of your home town scribbled on it with a permanent marker or trade plates for the car you’ve just dropped off at the local Ford dealers. You’re getting thoroughly soaked, but will anyone stop to help you out? Will they hell, it’s the rush hour and those drivers don’t want to sit in their cars for a second longer than they have to. But hold on, what’s this? A huge black company car stops and the driver offers you a lift! Result! The car’s interior is absolutely pristine (it’s a wonder those plastic covers have been taken off the car seats) and there’s a set of golf clubs taking up most of the back seats along with a monogrammed briefcase and today’s Financial Times, but what the hell, a lift’s a lift. So in you get and wouldn’t you know it, you’re sitting in a traffic jam, gridlocked all the way to Dunstable and you have to listen to drivetime radio throughout or get out and walk again. Welcome to my vision of Hell On Earth, only there’s more. In my Hell, the DJ’s playing nothing but Dido songs. Safe, friendly, meaningful, serious, but most of all songs so slow they could be lapped by Nytol-addicted tortoises. I know I’m in the minority here, but I personally can’t be doing with this sort of music. Besides, walking keeps you fit.