TRUE NATURE

Jane's Addiction

Nickelback, Sum 41, Busted, Bowling For Soup, all you metal bands, take note - this is how rock music is done. You start off with a half-decent song (and there go Busted), get your band to play with passion and finally (and this is the biggie) you keep the listener’s attention so they don’t walk away after one verse and chorus to listen to something more interesting. It’s trickier than it sounds, but when it works like it does here, you’ve got yourself one heck of a song. From the opening, where the drummer sounds as though there’s a giant wall of jelly between himself and the microphone (that might not be how the sound was created though, so don’t try it at home unless you know how to remove jelly stains from the carpet), you know this is going to stand out from the crowd and it does. There’s also some strange background noises throughout, but they add to the song rather than taking attention away from it. I’ll even forgive them the slightly-eighties guitar solo because the rest of the song is so good. Fantastic, no other word for it.

1998 / 1999

Binary Finary

Surprisingly, this song is actually five years old. Spooky, eh? It was originally called 1998 and then, when some bright spark re-issued it a year later, it got renamed 1999. By rights then, they should’ve renamed it 2003 for this re-issue, but you know, there comes a point where you have to stop else it starts getting silly. This is one of ten ancient classics that Positiva Records are putting out to celebrate their tenth birthday. To be fair to them, they have been responsible for some quality tunes (The Bomb, Nightmare and Bellissima for example), however, the Vengaboys are their fault too so it’s not a faultless existence. This is one of those few songs that I don’t get sick of hearing, like Café Del Mar. It’s one of those uplifting instrumentals that doesn’t aim to relieve schoolkids of their pocket money, its agenda is purely to be a great song and in that respect it works beautifully. Jane’s Addiction’s single may be fantastic, but this is damn near perfect.

SEXED UP

Robbie Williams

And now, it’s back to the reviews you were expecting. You know when you hear a song all the way through and then wonder how the hell you managed to stay awake until the end? That’s this all over. I suppose songs about failing relationships aren’t the sort of thing you’d normally set to a jolly tune with backing singers who bounce around the stage on Top Of The Pops with stupid big grins on their faces, but this song just plods along for four minutes, desperately looking for inspiration and not finding it. I honestly can’t think why they bothered to release this, it’s off a one year old album (which isn’t even his most recent if you count Live At Knebworth) and even the video’s got a by-the-numbers feel to it – usually if his single’s a bit duff, the video’s got more imagination than most other things on MTV, but not here. A totally unnecessary single.

JUMP (FOR MY LOVE)

Girls Aloud

An eighties disco song covered by some of pop’s current biggest hitters – it must be for a film soundtrack and is. If it’s good enough for Geri Halliwell (remember It’s Raining Men with its blatant Fame rip-off video?), then it’s good enough for Girls Aloud and they don’t even have to resort to looking like singing breadsticks to do it either. To be fair to them, they do a surprisingly good job of this, they don’t just turn up, do their bit and naff off home to count the royalties (which is the impression I get when most pop stars cover a song that’s almost as old as they are) and end up with a pretty decent pop single. Of course, the original did the job just fine on its own, but I suppose if you’re going to cover a classic, you might as well go for it. I won’t go as far as to say it’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face, because I don’t know you that well and it’s very presumptious on my part, but I don’t mind listening to this one.