MAYBE

Emma Bunton

There's hope for Andy Williams yet. This is precisely the sort of easy listening music he used to do back in the sixties and while it worked for him back then, I can't help feeling that this is probably doomed to tumble out of the charts at an extremely impressive speed. It's not really my sort of thing (which is a very polite way of saying I can't stand this song), but just as surely as Jamelia appears to have hired Pac-Man as one of her backing singers on Superstar, this will be a sizeable hit. For a week, at least.

SHE DROVE ME TO DAYTIME TELEVISION

Funeral For A Friend

Have you ever wanted to hear something purely because of its title? I have. If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next, There Goes The Fear, Gay Bar, all song titles that stand out from the rest of the Top 40. That's before we even get into album tracks. Depeche Mode's I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead and Elton John's I Think I'm Going To Kill Myself are two of the most depressing song titles I know of, yet the songs themselves are really quite cheerful. Funny old world, innit? As for this one, well, the song doesn't quite live up to its title, but that was always going to be difficult. It starts as it means to carry on - loud, fast, words screamed at you, all over in well under four minutes, complete with some pretty dark and angry lyrics - I'm guessing it's about a failed relationship, could be wrong though. It's by no means a classic, but it's certainly better than the single above it and the one below it, so it could've been a lot worse.

SO YESTERDAY

Hilary Duff

Perhaps "so last year" would be nearer to the truth. It's not looking very promising, this week, is it? This is another uneventful single (I'll leave it to others to describe this song as duff), this time in the style of Avril Lavigne. You know how it goes, pop-rock combination, lots of guitars, female singer, ho hum. Let's move on.

THE REMIXES

Mariah Carey

It's somewhat strange to discover that after many years of listening to Mariah Carey murder other people's songs, other people are now murdering hers. Although she was only an accomplice to the merciless slaying of Against All Odds, where Without You is concerned it was definitely Ms Carey, in the living room, with the revolver. It sounds like an interesting idea, you get some of the best remixers around to play about with her songs and create something new from it. Except that's not what happens. Now, I'm not really a fan of hip-hop or R&B and I'll admit now that at the time of writing this I hadn't had time to listen to the second CD (which is where the hip-hop remixes can be found), but there has got to be much more originality and invention in one track on that disc than I heard on the whole of CD one. Considering the opportunity that the mixers had to take Mariah Carey's songs somewhere totally new, every single one of them opted for the funky house approach. It may work for one song, but after three songs containing practically the same framework (the sounds used, the backing singers, even the drum loops sound almost identical) you know, you just know, that the entire disc is going to be like this. And it is. Trust me, I sat through the whole thing, I know. What a swizz. If you want to hear this sort of music done with more thought and originality, buy a Hed Kandi album, that's my advice. So, how do I know disc two has to be better despite the fact I haven't heard it? Simple, most of the songs feature guest stars. Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliot and Busta Rhymes amongst others, to be exact and each one of them has their own ideas and things to say, unlike the tepid house mixes on disc one. All in all though, it's not really worth buying unless you're a big Mariah Carey fan (after all, these aren't the originals) and even then you're paying a lot of money for one CD and one silver dripmat.

THINGS I'VE DONE BEFORE

Electric Soft Parade

I have to say I like this one. About time too. I like it because it's just brimming with ideas. You've got guitars, pianos, changes in tempo, stop-start bits, melodic bits and one of those guitars that's usually only ever heard in a country and western song. All of that in one song - it shouldn't work really and a lot of other bands would get laughed out of town if they tried it, but on this song everything comes together surprisingly well. The only downer is that this is only available as a limited edition white 7" single, but if you do manage to get hold of it you're in for a treat. There's a free sticker inside.