THE HINDU TIMES

Oasis

This is the first single in nearly two years. That doesn’t mean this is automatically going to be good just because it’s by Oasis. Be honest, you know full well what you’re going to get, which is a rock and roll song. And that’s it. Just a plain old rock and roll song. It’s not great, it’s not dire, it’s just… well… indifferent, almost like our friends in the North are just going through the motions. That’s not what you’d expect after so long away, but that’s what this sounds like to me. Nothing about the song sounds fresh or exciting, just samey. Even the guitar riff seems oddly familiar although I can’t quite place where I’ve heard it before. This single may be much more preferable to listen to than Unchained Melody and Evergreen, but it’s still pretty anonymous despite that. Rather unsurprisingly, it’s loads better than

I’M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN

Britney Spears

What a roundabout way of saying “I’m A Teenager” that is. Honestly, how awful is this lump of syrupy tripe? Earlier on, I said Oasis sounded like they were going through the motions. Well, that’s just peanuts compared to this. When you listen to it, you quickly discover that there’s as much chance of anything original happening here as there is of your telly suddenly jumping round the living room halfway through Fifteen To One as it looks for acorns to stockpile for next winter. As far as I know, in Milton Keynes the chances of that happening are fairly remote. It’s gutless, lifeless, spineless, lots of other things that end with less and I can’t see it doing very much in the charts, which comes as something of a relief. Did I mention that this isn’t very good?