POISON

Bardot

Dear God, how many of these are there? Until a few weeks ago I thought ours was the only country that had dared to create a band via the power of that little box in the corner of the living room (or even the telly for that matter). But no, I was wrong. It’s also happened in Australia. Oh well. Still, look on the bright side. At least their offering’s worse than Hear’Say’s. To be honest, there’s really not very much between the two, if you compare Pure And Simple to this (which really we shouldn’t in the interests of impartiality) as they both suffer from a bog-standard tune and arrangement. Whereas Hear’Say went down the road of basic pop, Bardot have strayed down a dark alleyway that’s somehow led to the funky-ish and soulful sounds employed here. That’s all very nice, apart from one small matter. There’s not a lot of soul here. It’s one of those here-you-go-ladies-sing-this-bung-in-some-harmonies-if-you-want-it-doesn’t-matter-the-kids’ll-lap-it-up-anyway songs, which is a bit annoying really. That’s life,though. Mind you, the selection process must have been tough down under, seeing as all the final band members are female. I have a feeling that the male auditionists were all rejected because they were either not good enough, not internationally well-known (see Michael Hutchence or Rolf Harris) or not female. Perhaps we shall never know. It doesn’t stop the song being dull though.

IMITATION OF LIFE

REM

They’re back. No really, the real REM that we know and love are back. Hurrah! This is officially A Good Thing as I thought they’d had enough when they recorded Up (a very inferior recording indeed). Lucky for me I was wrong as this proves that The Great Beyond wasn’t a fluke and they have got it together again. If you know what REM sound like you know full well what to expect. Jangly guitars, a whistleable melody (I really can’t be bothered to check whether whistleable’s a real word), Michael Stipe nattering lyrics that really don’t make sense to anyone (That sugar cane that tasted good / That cinnamon / That’s Hollywood – yep, he’s back), the whole thing’s a welcome relief from the horrid manufactured pop that’s infested the charts and it deserves to do well purely because it’s such a huge improvement on their last album. Most definitely a result.