FALLING

Boom!

Terrible. Really, really terrible. The only redeeming feature of this single is that, being frisbee shaped, you can easily chuck it as far away from you as possible. Unfortunately, this song is so bad that it would be just typical if a passing dog saw you despatch it, thought it was a game and brought the damn thing back. This was probably intended as R&B, but it’s not, it’s Diet R&B. Think of Holler without the soul and you get the idea. There’s nothing musically here that screams “Buy me!” because it sounds deliberately crafted to be a hit single with no thought for originality. That sort of trick may have worked in the last century, but things have changed. Terrorvision are now good, Westlife have been stopped and Depeche Mode are on the way back – this is a brave new world we’re living in and there’s no place for songs like this. Excellent!

ROLLIN’

Limp Bizkit

I’m not going to kid you here. This isn’t the sort of thing I usually listen to. It’s fast, loud, very aggressive and whatever it sets out to do (I don’t know what the song’s about but I’ll guess it’s about having a good time) it certainly does the job. It’s not for me, but the fans’ll love it and fair play to them. Besides, the world needs bands like Limp Bizkit, they’re loud, rude, in your face and they’re everything bands like Westlife aren’t (ie. charting higher than Bob The Builder). That can’t be a bad thing.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED

Madison Avenue

Poor Kylie does all the donkey work trying to make disco cool again and then Madison Avenue come along with this and set the whole thing back years. This has all the right ingredients for a seventies disco anthem – thumping beats, obligatory string section, those guitars you only ever heard on disco records (if a guitar could throw up that’s the noise it would make) and even a horn section. It just doesn’t work. It sounds uninspired and the singer really doesn’t have the voice for this sort of song as she sounds lost amongst everything else that’s in there. This is exactly the sort of song our singles chart chews up and spits out within a fortnight and to be honest, Madison Avenue can have no complaints.