MUSIC

Madonna

Gone is the over-produced heavyweight pop of Ray Of Light and in comes the funky sound of French disco. Why? Because everyone loves Air and Daft Punk. Don't they? Seeing as vocoders are still officially cool there's one of them thrown in too. While we're at it, let's get Ali G in the video because although he's fast approaching the Flogging A Dead Horse stage, he's still quite funny and besides, the kids love him even if they haven't the faintest idea what he's saying. For real. Now, by rights this should sound just like Cher's horrific disco efforts and the only time the disc should be seen spinning is just after some bloke with a shotgun and a dog has shouted "Pull!" This song has absolutely no right whatsoever to be good. Trouble is, it's actually very well done. It's Good French Disco (it exists, but not as the seventies-coffee-table-music that Air serve up), the vocoder is barely used and Ali G is surprisingly good in the video ie. they let his normal character show through instead of cleaning him up for the American market. It's not exactly groundbreaking, but this is exactly the sort of thing Madonna does better than anyone else and besides, it's her best single since the 1990s. It's so good it even blots out the memory of the American Pie disaster. Respect.

HOW’S YOUR EVENING SO FAR?

Josh Wink & Lil Louis

Do you remember 1989? BSkyB was BSB and Sky and nobody watched either, Luton Town were a division above Chelsea and a decent Batman film was on at the cinema. Seems such a long time ago, doesn't it? Well, there was this song called French Kiss which was possibly the sleaziest dance record ever and it put the fear of God up the radio stations because of the sounds made by the woman halfway through (clue - you'll never hear them in Neighbours). It was unlike anything else before or since. This remix isn't. The woman's gone and so's the bit where the song slows right down and speeds up again and therefore everything that made the song what it was has been dumped, making it sound like most other dance records out now. I say buy it, compare the two versions (both on the CD) and wonder why a remix was deemed necessary. I couldn't tell you.